WIP – My First Reading

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How Does Your WIP Grow?

My First Reading

Read about writing Part 4, Scene 15, 16 and 17.

23Seventy-nine days.

Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas.

Butterflies swirled as I stared at an entire pack of paper. My title page boldly proclaimed Scepter’s Sacrifice. Was it junk, as Hemingway prophesied all first drafts to be? Did it do Deheya justice? Could I just upload it to Amazon and slap $3.99 on it?

Not exactly. Not yet. If I wanted to embarrass myself.

Did I like it well enough to finish it?

Yes.

When I was Christmas shopping, I picked up printer paper. I thought about printer cartridges and decided to pass. Christmas loomed. I plunged into wrapping presents, trimming trees, cooking, being with my family. At odd moments, I wondered what I would think. I didn’t dare tell my family and friends.

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Seeming to Scene – Chapter Five

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Seeming To Scene

Chapter Five

I was in my favorite used book store and found The Scene Book – A Primer For The Fiction Writer by Sandra Scofield.  I’m working through her exercises.  Chapter five emphasized pulse.

Click here to read Seeming To Scene – Chapter Four.

hypocrit

In summary, I discovered the following.  A scene’s pulse is the passion and urgency that drives the character to achieve their scene goal and their story goal.  Every scene should build toward the story question.

Story and scene pulse provide the constant backdrop, scene by scene, for the entire story.  Everything that anyone says, or thinks, or does, should serve that end.  Characters must have passion and drive to reach their goal.  And anything that obscures or muddies that effort needs t be removed. Continue reading

Icy Streets and Treacherous Footing – Bench Pressing Strong Verbs

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Icy Streets and Treacherous Footing

I intend to become a better writer, using strong verbs, making a little game out of it.  Today’s strong words are prevail, measure, distort, minimize, solve, entail, contradict, rupture, recur, and focus.

Read about Tammy’s awareness of the Count.

tammyHeart pounding, Tammy hissed.

Then shifting her weight, Tammy lifted one boot. Balancing on her other, she minced, not trusting her footing. She glared at three young men watching her. Hating her impractical three-inch heels, she readied for her next step in the new snow.

Not only did she risk falling and making a fool of herself in front of them, she was cold. Had reason prevailed, she would have worn a coat over her Chateau uniform. Instead, she shivered in penance for her foolishness.

Gazing into shop windows she saw little, trying to measure her feelings. She knew his interest in her. Something about him attracted her. But she dared not let hormones distort her reason and logic. Lesser in stature to him, she stood to gain much if he chose to favor her. But she could not minimize how dangerous it had become for her.

Everyone heard those rumors of maidens succumbing to his charm. Plied with his attention and gifts, they lost their heads. Enraptured, they soared to heights unimagined by them. Then, without warning, they found themselves bundled off to some convent.

From inside, bespectacled eyes peered at her.

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Seeming to Scene – Chapter Three – Added Thoughts

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Seeming To Scene

Chapter Three – Added Thoughts

Last week, I did exercises from Chapter Three of  The Scene Book – A Primer For The Fiction Writer by Sandra Scofield.  When I got to the sixth question, I deconstructed one of my original scenes.  The results dismayed me.  That ate at me to the point that I decided to go back and repair my scene, and revised it.

hypocrit6. Cleaning Up Mud – Study one of your scenes. List the beats. Repairing the beats will give you a revision outline. If you see that the action is not clear, make it so.  Sometimes the fuzziness comes from failure to put the scene firmly into place.  Then you can make the beats escalate in tension to build emotion. Look to see what the responses of the characters are.

So, I sat about deconstructing Scene Seventeen.  First, my scene had been part of a larger scene.  But, on closer examination, it felt more natural to break it into three parts.  After doing that, I set about analyzing it.

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Scepter’s Sacrifice, Part Three, Scene 17 – Revised

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Scepter’s Sacrifce

Part Three, Scene 17

Revised Version

I wrote the original Scene 17 as part of my WIP, Scepter’s SacrificeAs part of my study on scenes, I analyzed my original scene, and wrote about my analysis in another post.  This scene, as rewritten, uses techniques suggested by Scofield, in her books.

mountain1 – Birds called out. Others joined in. Deheya stretched. Cold hair poured in. She gasped, pulling her cover tight around her. Shivering, she hugged herself, trying to warm up. Her legs were cold. And her jaw ached.

2 – Someone snuggled closer to her.

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Scepter’s Sacrifice, Part Three, Scene 17

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Scepter’s Sacrifce

Part Three, Scene 17

Original Version

I wrote this scene, originally, as part of my WIP, Scepter’s SacrificeAs part of my study on scenes, I analyzed this scene, and wrote about my analysis in another post.  I updated my scene, using Scofield’s approach of defining physical beats first.

mountain1 – Something reached out. Someone moaned. Eyes trying to open, like stones dragged up a gravel slope. Shivering, she tried to snuggle down. But her legs were cold. And her bottom was damp

2 – A bird called out, greeting the gray, misty gloom. Another joined in. The world awakened to a new day. She remembered. Stretching, more cold air poured in. She gasped.

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