Why Not Podcasts or YouTube?
Hi, you may not realize it, but you are hearing the most important message of your life. As you know, everyone on the planet got the Daily Prompt: Fifteen Minutes. Each of us gets fifteen minutes on Radio or TV. Please do not be offended if I also text as I speak to you. It is not personal, it is just the way I am.
Please wait your turn, even though the line is ever so long. I know just what you are thinking. Only one of us can talk at a time, and your time starts as soon as the prior speaker stops, so do not tarry. Step promptly to the microphone and speak clearly and distinctly. What you have to say is so terribly important to us. Our time-keeper and judge will be Carrie Ann Inaba, well-known for her fairness and attention to detail.
I am terribly sorry that, because of the fifteen minute limit, only four may speak each hour, or 96 each day. Alas, we will get through only 35,000 this next year. Still, we can thank the Disney people for making the wait seem shorter, and more interesting, and for diverting our attention with their magical marvels. Perhaps, next year, we will offer Samsung Galaxy S4 smart phones to each of you, as this was part of their infringement settlement with Apple.
Each and every one of us claim our entitlements, so please keep your place, and do not cut in. Limit place holding to only your closest Facebook Friends. You may leave the line only for restroom, Starbucks and Macy’s shoe sales breaks. It should go without saying that no one may smoke, except for Colorado residents with their special blends. If, for some reason your phone battery runs down, please feel free to use the recharging stations provided by those kind people at Tesla, although they are not responsible for battery fires.
If, by chance, you happen to see Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, or Tom Hardy, please limit yourself to a single kiss. Do not abuse this privilege, and be respectful of others waiting their turn. Under no circumstances, ask Johnny Depp about makeup hints. He assures me he will text all of us on his techniques.
And, as a last note, I, too, am as disappointed as you that we are using such yesterday technologies as radio and TV. Next year, we will expand the service to podcasts and YouTube, courtesy of those fine people at Twitter. We are exploring ways to use Google glasses so that everyone may speak at once, NSA permitting.
So, will the first speaker step forward?