My Very Best Pick Up Lines


My Very Best Pick Up Lines

Life or death.  Fame or failure.  To read more or move on.  If a story does not have a compelling opening, or pick up line, it will languish, forever, unlamented.  And the author will ponder dark thoughts, listening to the voices.

I have concentrated on my own openings.  I still cringe at doing them.  I feel like I am…somehow…cheating.  It is like I am standing up on a table and…well…attracting attention with a hey-look-at-me move.

I would love to know what you think of them, and whether they move you, in any way, to read any of them.


What do you think?

Please leave a comment.  If you want to tell me more privately, please feel free to send an email.

First Opening

“The Inn of Serene Dreams. Down on the docks. Men ease swords in scabbards at sudden movements. Women fear black iron.”

Tavern Girl

Second Opening

“Jamie giggled so hard she nearly peed her panties.  She looked out the window. “Okay, your—“

We Are Still Talking About Campsites, Aren’t We?

Third Opening

“A slender shadow slipped into shimmering silks and opened the door. “Tell Sir Ad Gar, the Count breaths—-”

Murder, Mutiny and Mother’s Mercy

Fourth Opening


“A breeze caresses your cheek.  You imagine his touch.  Alone, walking up the path, you expect, somehow, to see him.  The men bid their final greeting.  The machines are still.  He walks among them no more.”

Caressed By Memories

Fifth Opening

“The first day, Pahutapa led the way. The day grew colder.  Upon reaching the snow, Yon’kee’jon’s horse broke trail. She followed, afoot. She pondered her reception, refusing hope.”

Blankets On The Trail





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