WIP – Revising Scene Six

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Revisions

Scene Six

 Read about scenes one – five.

23

Company is coming.

Only…it’s his mother.  Next week.  My house could be used to shoot horror movies.

I started repainting our spare bedroom two weeks ago and…I hope I can get it done.

I don’t think I will get any writing done next week.  Mother-in-law…or…writing.  More like married or divorced.  Ha.

Scene Six (March 27th)

Scene Six was brand new.  I had nothing but notes when I started.  I wrote it to show my MC’s married life.  I decided on Dramatic.

My story flow now has: (1) First Scene;  (2-4) Dialog Scenes; (5 – 6) Dramatic Scenes.  Until I do another reading, I don’t know if my story flow and pace works or not.

This was my second Dramatic Scene, ever.  But it went more easily than my first, written just two days ago.  Maybe it was because, except for some notes, my paper was blank.  My mind could go where it wanted, conjure up anything I needed.  While it was like working without nets, it was, in some ways, easier.

I followed Rosenfeld’s suggested pattern.  Open slowly with undercurrents.  Shift into escalating tension, leading my POV to a decision.  Ramp down tension and end everything calmly.  This formula was close to Scene Five, except that I ended Scene Five abruptly and transitioned into Scene Six.

This time I tried deliberately injecting two emotions into my scene.  I wanted nervousness from my MC and anger from her husband.  I used Ackerman and Puglisi’s Emotion Thesaurus as my guide.  For my MC, I selected several physical and internal manifestations of nervousness.  Then I plugged less dramatic symptoms to begin and end my scene.  And I picked extreme symptoms to used once emotions started to fly.  For him, I picked physical symptoms for anger, and several repressed symptoms.  I opened and closed with him displaying repressed symptoms.  As my scene got going, he lost control for a time and displayed active anger symptoms.  Then I had him wind back down.

I was happy with how it turned out.

And…I wrote it in 1,165 words…135 words under my target.  So, I’ve inched back toward my goal of 1,300 words per scene.

Still, I’m 590 words over.

And it will only get harder as I move into real parts of my story.

Read about scene seven.
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