WIP – Revising Scenes Thirteen and Fourteen



Scenes Thirteen and Fourteen

I revised scenes eleven and twelve.

23I revised two more scenes today.

And I struggled.

How could it change that much in one day.  Yesterday, I was in charge of my life.  Today…not so much.

In both cases, I was revising existing scenes.  But I greatly changed their format, focus and content.  At some level, I’m even wondering why I have these scenes.  So…I have homework.

I confess to feeling a little down, and tired.  Maybe I’m just seeing my writing with tired eyes.

I’m hoping, when I read Part One, I will understand what’s wrong.  If anything is.

Scene Thirteen (April 7th)

Scene thirteen lived in my first draft.  But I had stayed with my dialog format, and wound up with some talking heads and a bit of action at the conclusion.  When I replanned my story, using Rosenfeld’s scene structures, I decided on Action, sensing I needed to inject action into my story.

I hadn’t realized how much of my original scene I wouldn’t be able to use.  Rosenfeld suggests either starting in mid-action, or diving into it in a paragraph or two.  I waited until the ninth paragraph to kick into action mode.  And I’m really torn.  Even with nine paragraphs I threw away almost all of my first draft.  And, I had to invent over twenty new paragraphs.  When I started my rewrites, I had no idea what my MC would display or discover.  In the end, she discovered self-sacrifice and courage.

I’m wondering, when I revisit this scene, if more of those first nine paragraphs won’t disappear from this scene.  Maybe what I need to do is create an entirely new scene with some of that information.

This was my first action scene.  I had nothing to draw on.  I felt like I was writing by Braille.

Scene Fourteen (April 7th)

Scene Fourteen was also a preexisting scene.  As with my first draft, I decided to stay with Dialog.  But my original scene had problems.  In it, my MC’s husband interrogates  his subordinates on their performance, and she tries to shield some of them from punishment they didn’t deserve.  But it felt as if I had the wrong POV because she was only indirectly involved.  And, truth to tell, she didn’t have nearly as much at stake as those officers her husband considered hanging.

So I decided to stay with dialog, and shift most of the discussion to be between my MC and her sister.  In this version, her sister relays much of what her husband decided to do.  Only at the end does he arrive in the scene.  He introduces my two final important characters and makes some decisions which complicate her life.

When I revisit this scene, I need to make those decisions more painful for her.  And I will have to decide if I still like the newer version.

How Am I Doing?

I reached 18,315 words with scene fourteen. I wanted to be at 18,200 words.  So I am only slightly over my target.  I have four more scenes before I complete Part One.

Read about scene fifteen.

2 thoughts on “WIP – Revising Scenes Thirteen and Fourteen

  1. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scene Fifteen | Simply Silent

  2. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes Eleven and Twelve | Simply Silent

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