WIP – Revising Scenes 32 and 33

Standard

Revisions

Scenes 32 and 33

I revised scenes 30 and 31.

23

I’m finally nearing the end of Part Two.  Back with my main character, I tackled two scenes that I had earmarked to be collection points for several original scenes.  And…I changed my mind, and turned those two scenes into five scenes.  Happily, I had words to spare.

 Scene 32 (May 16th)

Scene 32 became two scenes.  When I originally wrote about this, I had three scenes.  I took part of one original scene and moved it to Scene 33, and then wrote 32 and 32A.  I made this division because I needed two different scene types.  I needed action, a battle scene, and I needed something which presaged it.  And I decided on suspense.

Scene 32 became a suspense scene.  I spent a lot of time on this scene.  My MC is still reacting to her husband’s death, as well as her father’s.  My worry was that she would come off whiny.  And, maybe she does, but I try to make of for that in my next scene.

Scene 32A became an action scene.  And I followed Rosenfeld’s suggestion, and quickly stripped away almost all inner thoughts and emotions.  I let her react like a tigress defending her son.  And, I think, she comes off as powerful and driven.  She is successful in this fight, not because she is a kick-ass guy with boobs.  She is successful because she is highly proficient with a bow.  And, by using it, she is able to negate strength and speed that men have over her.  I was proud of her.

One thing I want to go back and look at is the fight sequence itself.  I think I fell into too much of a pattern with three and four line paragraphs.  One after another, after another.  If I stick in some odd speaking here and there, and allow her a few thoughts now and then, I think those regular steps of paragraphs will dissolve into random sizes, with incomplete sentences and hanging whatevers.

I will tackle that next time

 Scene 33 (May 20th)

Scene 33 became three scenes.  I took some of the ideas I’d not used in Scene 32 and moved them into the Scene 33 bucket.  And then I went to work, making Scene 33 dramatic, Scene 34 suspense, and Scene 35 dialog.

Scene 33 became dramatic.  Her reaction to battle, and having killed someone for the first time, was perfect.  Mix that emotion in with anger in her grieving process, and she takes it out on people who may not deserve it.  But she is furious at having been put in peril and having to defend her son in a situation which very nearly ended in disaster.  I hope readers see her anger as justified.

Scene 33A became suspense.  Even though they had won their battle, they are still in grave danger.  And, at the end of the scene, the enemy discovers them, and people have to make sacrifices for her and her son to escape.

Scene 33B became dialog.  It was new.  For a mini-mystery in Part Three, I needed to plant some information.  So, one of my characters makes a trip none of us had planned.  And, later, one of my junior villains will say and do things which raise my characters suspicions.  But that is a tale for another scene.

How Am I Doing?

I have 33 of 74 scenes revised or rewritten.  I’m loath to admit I just added three scenes.  I will wait until I’m done to see how many I actually wind up with.  I reached 55,083 words.  I’m 1,358 words over my target.  But, since I’m now trying to hit 60,000 words, I think I will be very close.

Happy writing.

Read about Scenes 34 and 35.
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2 thoughts on “WIP – Revising Scenes 32 and 33

  1. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes 34 and 35 | Simply Silent

  2. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes 30 and 31 | Simply Silent

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