WIP – Revising Scenes 42 and 43



Scenes 42 and 43

I revised scenes 40 and 41.


Two days.

Two more scenes.

I’ve moved away from my MC.  Her fate is about to be decided by a great battle which will be seen through the eyes of others.

Scene 42 (June 1st)

In my first draft, I used seven POVs.  I reduced that number to four, and this scene’s POV was one who got axed.  So I had to either change my POV, or drop my scene.

Since I’m trying to build up suspense from earlier scenes, I decided to keep it, but recast so extensively it isn’t the same seen at all.  I had also worried about keeping my word count down.  But I had little trouble focusing on my main point.  I used only 500 of my budgeted 1,500 words, as I covered everything I needed to.

So I moved on.

As with all my other scenes, I will have to wait until I have some distance

Scene 43 (June 2nd)

When I replanned my WIP, my large battle scenes worried me.  I used words lavishly to describe them. And I felt I was telling, not showing.  So my two goals were to cut down my word count and make my battle narrative more human.  Somehow.

As before, I used my villain / love interest.  To this point, I’ve often referred to him as a great general, to keep readers from thinking his is just whiny, wanting everything his brother has.  So, to make him worthy of her interest, I gave him an opportunity to show his greatness.  I hope I showed his logical, calculating approach.  I also wanted him to be agile and able to improvise.  So he does.

I worried that I had too much tell.  So I fell back on a technique Sandra Scofield suggests.  I color coded each sentence.   I marked up physical actions in one color, descriptions in another, and internal thoughts / emotions in still another.  And I was able to see where dialog, which gets no color, and internalities fell, as opposed to everything else.

I saw lots of action and description.  What dialog existed was forced and tacked on.  Internalities were just as forced.  So, I went in, and fixed my dialog, omitting much of it, and making sure anything at remained didn’t seem tacked on.  And I carefully focused his internal thoughts and feels.  Where I thought he should react, he did.  Otherwise not.  And this seemed natural for him.  He is a great general, used to battle, ready to make decisions, interested in results and always weighing costs to get them.

Maybe I injected suspense and uncertainty.  Time will tell.

I used 2,200 words, one of my longest scenes yet.  I ate up savings from my earlier scene.

How Am I Doing?

I’m up to 72,334 words, 152 under my target for Part Three. And I’ve got 48 scenes complete, with 31 to go.

My goal is to keep writing my story, clearly and coherently, while staying in my word count.  But I’m looking at those monstrous scenes as I close out Part Three.  I hope I can shave words here and there as I go.

Read about scene 44 and 45.

3 thoughts on “WIP – Revising Scenes 42 and 43

  1. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes 44 and 45 | Simply Silent

  2. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes 46 and 47 | Simply Silent

  3. Pingback: WIP – Revising Scenes 40 and 41 | Simply Silent

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